The Bathing Suit

Can any of you recognize Mother and Aunt Dott in this line-up of Bathing Beauties?

When I was a child in the 1950s the bathing suit for the mature figure was boned, trussed and reinforced, not so much sewn as engineered. They were built to hold back and uplift and they did a good job. Today's stretch fabrics are designed for the prepubescent girl with a figure carved from a potato chip.

The mature woman has a choice-she can either go up front to the maternity department and try on a floral suit with a skirt, coming away looking like a hippopotamus who escaped from Disney's Fantasia or she can wander around every run of the mill department store trying to make a sensible choice from what amounts to a designer range of florescent rubber bands. What choice did I have? I wandered around, made my sensible choice and entered the chamber of horrors known as the fitting room.

The first thing I noticed was the extraordinary tensile strength of the stretch material. The Lycra used in bathing costumes was developed, I believe, by NASA to launch small rockets from a slingshot; which give the added bonus that if you manage to actually lever yourself into one, you are protected from shark attacks - as any shark taking a swipe at your passing midriff would immediately suffer whiplash. I fought my way into the bathing suit, but as I twanged the shoulder strap in place, I gasped in horror - my boobs had disappeared!

Eventually, I found one boob cowering under my left armpit. It took a while to find the other. At last I located it flattened beside my seventh rib...

The problem is that modern bathing suits have no bra cups! The mature woman is meant to wear her boobs spread across her chest like a speed bump. I realigned my speed bump and lurched toward the mirror to take a full view assessment.

The bathing suit fit all right, but unfortunately it only fit those bits of me willing to stay inside it. The rest of me oozed out rebelliously from top, bottom, and sides. I looked like a lump of play dough wearing undersized cling wrap.

As I tried to work out where all those extra bits had come from, the prepubescent sales girl popped her head through the curtain; 'Oh, there you are,' she said, admiring the bathing suit.

I replied that I wasn't so sure and asked what else she had to show me. I tried on a cream crinkled one that made me look like a lump of masking tape, and a floral two piece which gave the appearance of an over sized napkin in a serving ring.

I struggled into a pair of leopard skin bathers with ragged frills and came out looking like Tarzan's Jane, pregnant with triplets and having a rough day.

I tried on a BLACK number with a midriff and looked like a jellyfish in mourning.

I tried on a bright pink pair with such a high cut leg I thought I would have to wax my eyebrows to wear them.

Finally, I found a suit that fit...a two-piece affair with a shorts style bottom and a loose blouse-type top.

It was cheap, comfortable, and bulge-friendly, so I bought it. My ridiculous search had a successful outcome, I figured. When I got home, I found a label which read -- 'Material might become transparent in water.'

So, if you happen to be on the beach or near any other body of water this year and I'm there too… I'll be the one in cut off jeans and a t-shirt!

I'm so glad {not really} that Summer is almost over - maybe next year I'll be in better shape!

Where has Summer GONE?

The last few days have seen quite a change in temperatures and there is the slightest hint of autumn in the early morning hours. When we drove up to the dam on Sunday, I noticed little specks of gold and orange amongst the green where quakies and oaks were beginning to change colors. It's usually when we drive up to Swiss Days that I notice the change in the foliage, and that is this weekend! Where has the summer gone?

The routine - head erect, shoulders back, chest out, inhale thru the nose and exhale out the mouth {am I also supposed to count on the exhale, or just puff?}, tummy tucked, arms swinging, hands flexing {to keep the blood from engorging my fingers so they aren't dragging on the pavement by the time I get home} , glutes tight, kegals {trying, at least}, iPod tuned and earphones installed for EZ listening and a guaranteed smile on my face! No wonder I'm exhausted by the time I hit the back doorstep! It's been perfect for early morning walks - so I've been getting out around 6'ish. It's amazing what the fresh morning air can do for your attitude the rest of the day! As I walked this morning, I noticed - a fortune cookie saying lying on the sidewalk {at first, I walked over it, then thought to myself 'what if it actually has something to say to me?'}, so I turned back a few steps and picked it up with hope in my heart: One who admires you greatly is hidden before your eyes. Ok, that's pretty deep! I noticed a little turquoise {?} booth at a new construction site in our neighborhood with the name "Honey Pot' over the door {such a sweet name for such a disgusting -but necessary- stop!} I noticed the cutest little boy walking to school, who for the last 4 mornings has spoke right up to me and said HI. I thought to myself, what a great self-image he has to take the initiative to say something to an adult without being coaxed!

I love watching the sun come up over the beautiful mountains, love the cool morning air blowing in my face, love watching the community come alive, as people are scurrying off to work, children are waiting at the bus stops, yards are being watered and the fine mist of the sprinklers settles over me, and my thoughts turn to the chores of the day, and where my life will lead me . I come back from a walk and feel refreshed and ready to tackle any problem {or person}!

YIKES, TAGGED!

Whitey has tagged me!

Like Whitey, I encouraged my girls to come up with something unusual and interesting. They never disappoint!

1. Starts sentences – sometimes finishes them!
2. See's more funerals than a mortician - she uses them as social events to catch up with old friends
3. Loves cinnamon anything
4. Always there when we need her
5. Can't wear a clean shirt without spilling something down the front of it!
6. Has never owned a brand new car!

B - O - R - I - N - G! I need to kick my life UP a NOTCH!

However, when I asked a couple of friends they came up with some very interesting points, as well. From the Queen Mother: great memory, loyal friend, insightful, tactful {?}, fun, slut - {she remembers me more from my high school days}! And from MsAmErika: salts{and peppers} everything from eggs, salads, tuna sandwiches, tomato soup, fries, - who knows what else. Also takes 2 (complimentary} flavors of salt water taffy or Starburst candy-molds them together and twists them into new and exciting combinations of flavor!

Now MY six taggets are:

1. Michele http://fivemenandalady.blogspot.com/

2. Heather http://kickbuttmommy.blogspot.com/

3. Debbie http://debandscotts.blogspot.com/

4. Cara http://cara-raisingmen.blogspot.com/

5. Jenna http://sushicat11.blogspot.com/

6. Kris http://poweredbypeanutbutter.blogspot.com/

And for those who can not come up with 6 things about themselves enlist the help of your progeny. That's what they're here for!

These are the rules which need to be passed on:
1). Link to the person who tagged you on your blog.
2). Post the rules of the tag on your blog.
3). Write 6 random things about yourself.
4). Tag 6 people at the end of the post.
5). Let each of the people know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
6). Let tagger know that your tag entry has been posted

TOOT, TOOT!

For any of you out there who read my blog - please check out all the fun stuff that Heidi is putting on her blog. She's going to be doing a "POP art" illustration of all the members of both sides of ours and Grant's family. It's proving to be a fun project for her. And after that, I have another thing for her to do -- Mike finally located all his old photos which need to be scanned. She has already done over 300 of my old photographs and slides and we've been able to put them on disks! Blessing on you and Thanks so much, Heidi; you don't know how often I get into them to find something old for blogging! Love you much!

Boz Scaggs

Thank you Boz, and thank you Tom for being out of town so that Teri had to find someone she knew that likes Boz as well as she does! Thanks Teri for thinking of your old auntie - it was fun spending time with you.

Happy Birthday to Margie!

Almost looks like a Hollywood glamour pix, doesn't it?

Birthday Blessings

Instead of counting candles,
Or tallying the years,
Contemplate your blessings,
As your birthday nears.

Consider special people
Who love you, and who care,
And others who’ve enriched your life
Just by being there.

Think about the memories
Passing years can never mar,
Experiences great and small
That have made you who you are.

Another year is a happy gift,
So cut your cake, and say,
"Instead of counting birthdays,
I count blessings every day!" By Joanna Fuchs

Happy Birthday to our SIL/aunt, Margie...hope you have a wonderful day.

We Are Beautiful!

Mom, sisters, Grandpa & Grandma, aunts, uncles, cousins and their kids, friends, boyfriend -- all there to watch Eryn! Poised, gracious, articulate, beautiful, talented, and now with the experience of participating in an event that offers the opportunity to build friendships, practice sportsmanship, build self-confidence, learn, laugh, and maybe take home a crown. Although Eryn did not bring home the crown, she is 'Golden' in all our eyes and we love her for her efforts. She did look stunning in her evening gown of pale yellow; she did a great job on her dance; she carried herself with grace in a swim suit and 3" heels {a feat in itself}, and I believe the platform that she chose to represent - that of 'accepting and helping people with special needs', was admirable. But then, she has been an advocate for the underdog since she was a young child. She was always the one to befriend the one in school who wasn't quite the same as everyone else; making sure they had a friend to walk through the halls with, sitting by them at lunch, and rallying for them when others were cruel. So this seemed to be a 'natural' forum for her to pursue.

Needless to say, she didn't need to win over 5 other girls for all of us to know that she is a WINNER, and we so enjoyed watching her compete last night. She walked away with the "Heart of Kaysville" award and "Best of Evening Wear". We're proud of you Eryn, and I want you to know how special you are to me and how much I love you.

A Day for Celebrations!

It's another anniversary for Woody and I - they just seem to keep rolling around! It seems like just yesterday that I was blogging about it last August!

Happy Birthday to another cute niece - Jordan is the daughter of Craig and Denise, and grand-daughter to DiAnne and Glen. Hope you have a wonderful day!

Eryn is Paige's beautiful and talented daughter and a grand-daughter of DiAnne and Glen.

She is participating in the Miss Kaysville-Fruit Heights pageant this weekend. As a contestant, she must raise funds for the Children's Miracle Network. I am including the email from her and the link, so that if any of you would like to sponsor her in this you can do so.

I'm getting ready to compete in the Miss America Miss Kaysville/Fruit Heights pageant. As a contestant, I need your help to raise money for Children's Miracle Network and the Miss America Scholarship Fund. Please help me reach my goal of $100.00 by clicking on this link . Your donation will be considered a charitable donation for tax purposes and a receipt will be provided at the end of the year.

Once you have completed a secure on-line donation, your donation will be included in my fund raising total on my personal page. To help even further you can forward this message on to other friends and family to help me in my fund raising efforts. My personal page will track my results and provide a comparison to other contestants.

This year the Miss America Organization has teamed up with Children's Miracle Network, a non-profit organization dedicated to saving and improving the lives of children by raising funds for children's hospitals. This new partnership gives each contestant the opportunity to raise awareness and funds for two great organizations - Miss America Organization and Children's Miracle Network.

Thanks for your support
Eryn

We wish her love and the best of luck in this endeavor.

Happy Birthday, Janette!

I wanted to send out a birthday wish to Janette - she's always on some kinda trip for her birthday, so we never get to use it as an excuse for a cousin's lunch. Maybe when she gets home . . .

Hope you have a wonderful time and thanks for being such a Sweetie.

Carrots, Eggs and Coffee

A young woman went to her Mother and told her about her life, and how things were so hard. She didn't know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, another arose.

Her Mother took her to the kitchen. She filled 3 pots with water and placed each on the stove. Soon the pots came to a boil. In the first, she placed carrots; in the second, she placed eggs; and in the third, she placed ground coffee beans. She let them boil - without saying a word.

In about 20 minutes, she turned of the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them on a dish. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a cup. Turning to her daughter, she said - 'Tell me what you see'.

The daughter looked in exasperation and replied - 'Carrots, eggs, and coffee'.

Her Mother brought her closer and asked her to eat a carrot and describe it to her. They were soft. The Mother then asked her to take and egg and break it open. After pulling off the shell, she noted that it was hard boiled. Finally, the Mother ask that she sip some coffee. She did so, and smiled as she tasted the rich, deep aromatic beverage. 'What does it mean, Mother?'

Her Mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity - boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrots went in strong, hard and unrelenting - however, they softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile - its thin outer shell had protected the interior, but it became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique - as they changed the water!

Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain, do I become soft and lose my strength? Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart - Does my shell look the same, but I am bitter and tough with a hardened heart and spirit? Am I the coffee bean, that actually changes the hot water by releasing a fragrance and flavor?

When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond?

If you can't tell, I'm still in somewhat of a SCHLUMP! I've heard it said many times that you can't move forward in life until you let go of past failures and heartaches. Evaluating one's life and moving off 'dead center' is always a challenge - am I up to that challenge? I'm still trying to decide whether I'm the limp carrot, or the coffee bean.

Happy Birthday, Fay!

I have been in such a slump lately; so much so that I forgot to send out a tribute to my SIL - who celebrated her birthday on August 3rd {sorry}! This is one gal who is always cheerful, busy and willing to lend a hand. When I had my twins and 3 little boys under the age of 8, she would come every weekend to help out, so that I could get something else done besides changing diapers and feeding little mouths. We would clean the house, do laundry, I would get out to go grocery shopping, and Wood and I would get out of the house for a few hours to go to a movie. For a gal that didn't have children, she sure got the "Baptism by Fire' by being Auntie to mine! Through her job capacity at ZCMI, she was able to get the girls involved in many fashion shows from the time they were 4 years old. She would also use the boys to set-up and help with some technical functions. From the time they were little, she would take them on a one-on-one basis and spend a weekend with them sharing special experiences and doing things that they chose.

She now travels with her hubby to State Fairs and other venues, to assist him while he draws characatures. They make a good team and everyone so enjoys having them both at any gathering.

Hope you had a special birthday, Fay; I have enjoyed being a part of your life.