NEW YEAR 2008

Today is Daddy’s birthday --- he was born Jan. 3, 1900. It was always so easy to remember how old he would be for the year! He was 49 when I was born. . .and 65 when he died. It’s difficult to remember any one thing about him . . . he’s been gone from my life longer than he was in it.

New Year’s has always been a time for reflection, contemplation, and resolution. What were you doing New Year’s Eve? Were you curled up by a cozy fire, celebrating the beginning of a new year with someone you love? Were you remembering times gone by, with the hope for a better tomorrow? Were you reminiscent of a more carefree day when the wind in your hair, or a skinned knee was your only concern? For me, the end of a year and the beginning of a new one is no different - marked by sorrow, sadness and regret.

Sorrow in my heart for those who have passed through our lives and are now gone - Left without a goodbye, a promise of tomorrow, or a feeling of warmth. Sadness in my heart as I realize unfulfillment in my life. Regret, which is the biggest disappointment – when I realize what I am capable of, what is expected of me, and the realization that I haven’t been diligent in seeking those areas that would allow growth.

I’m sorry for the blonde, blue-eyed child who has no recollection of a childhood. I’m sorry for the frustration and confusion of adolescence. I’m sorry I was a follower, instead of a leader; or at best, an Individual! I never explored who I really was or who I wanted to be. I’m sorry for relationships that I either didn’t encourage or nurture. I’m sorry I didn’t take time to have fun and explore new horizons. I regret thoughtless words and deeds.

So, with this said, I am declaring 2008 “The Year of Sue” (remember the Seinfeld episode where George resolves to do everything different?)! I want to become more healthy, happy, and independent! I want to let go of old hurts and salve the wounds with love and forgiveness. I want to forget the past, and make each day of my present account for something.

I love all my family and am thankful that they have been there to fill in the gaps!