Funny, Funny Mother

This was always such a riot to read aloud at DiAnne's Christmas get-together, cuz no one works harder or starts earlier to prepare for Christmas than her! We would be in tears laughing at the scenario -- when I read it now, I just heave a big sigh of RELIEF knowing that I was never nor will I ever be like this MOTHER!

See Mother - See Mother laugh - Mother is HAPPY.
Mother is happy about Christmas.
Mother has many plans for Christmas. Mother is organized.
Mother smiles all the time - FUNNY, FUNNY Mother.

See Mother - See Mother smile - Mother is HAPPY.
The shopping is all done. See the children watch TV.
Watch children, watch.
See the children change their minds.
See them ask Santa for different toys!
Look, Mother is not smiling - FUNNY, FUNNY Mother.

See Mother, See Mother - See Mother sew.
Mother will make dresses - Mother will make robes -
Mother will make shirts. Look - Mother put the zipper in wrong!
See Mother sew the dress on the wrong side.
See Mother cut the skirt too short.
See Mother put the material away until January.
Look, Look. See Mother take a tranquilizer - FUNNY, FUNNY Mother.

See Mother, See Mother buy raisins and nuts.
See Mother buy candied pineapple and powdered sugar.
See Mother buy flour and dates, pecans and brown sugar, bananas and spices and vanilla.
Look, Look. Mother is mixing everything together.
See the children press out cookies.
See the flour on their elbows.
See the cookies burn. See the cake fall.
See the children pull taffy. See Mother pull her hair.
See Mother clean the kitchen with the garden hose - FUNNY, FUNNY Mother.

See Mother. See Mother wrap presents. See Mother look for the end of the scotch tape. See Mother bite her fingernails. See Mother go. See Mother go to the store 12 times in one hour!
Go Mother, go! See Mother go faster. Run Mother, run.
See Mother trim the tree. See Mother have a party. See Mother make popcorn.
See Mother scrub the rug. See Mother tear up the organized plan.
See Mother forget the gift for Uncle Harold. See Mother get the hives!
Go Mother, go! See the far-away look in Mother's eyes.
Mother is disorganized. Mother is disoriented - FUNNY, FUNNY Mother.

It is finally Christmas morning. See the Happy Family.
See Father smile. Father is happy. Smile Father, smile!
Father loves his new neckties. Look, Look. See the happy children.
The children will remember this Christmas.
See Mother. Mother is slumped in a chair. Mother is crying uncontrollably.
Mother does not look well. Mother has dark ugly circles under her blood-shot eyes.
Everyone helps Mother to bed. Mother sleeps quietly under heavy sedation.
See Mother smile - FUNNY, FUNNY Mother.